25 Reasons Kids Are the Best

For the past two nights, I've had to leave some important events early because my kids were seconds away from meltdowns caused by exhaustion and I'm not a bad mom. This is us at my beautiful cousin's rehearsal dinner. 

Tonight I was thinking, "Well that stinks, but it's just part of being a mom." You take care of those other people first. Then I saw that someone posted on Facebook a hilarious list of "27 reasons kids are the worst" and I thought, "Having a kid wicked awesome totally rad rocks in the best kind of way. People just don't know." So, here are my 

25 reasons kids are the best: 

1. They make people randomly smile oh so sweetly at you, hold open doors for you, unload your shopping carts, scoot out of your way, carry things for you, and even sometimes give you free ice cream. 

2. They will make you a better person:  when you hear your two year old say an inappropriate word, you stop saying it; when you hear their frustrated groans over silly little things, you work on taking deep breaths and calming down in front of them; when you think about them at 16, you try not to text and drive. 

3. They teach you how to enjoy the simple things in life, like having a favorite color,  sitting in a rocking chair, seeing the fish at wal mart, or rocks.  

4. They make it a hundred times easier break the ice and to make friends, "Hey, we should get our kids together to play."

5. They prove to you in a new way that God is real. A baby, knit together from two little cells whose heart starts beating for no perceptible reason, and who grows into something that has feelings and jumps and solves puzzles and likes Cheetos is unmistakably the work of His hands. And you get to see it!!

6. They give you a rock solid excuse to get out of anything, especially as newborns. Although, I still have the old standby of "Sorry, I can't. I'm walking my pet unicorn that day."

7. "Sometimes you never know the value of a moment until it's a memory." 

8. They are an expression of your love. Your love for your spouse has come to life. 

9. They will make you fall in love with your spouse in an otherwise unknown dimension. They show you your spouse's integrity (mine has a lot). And there is nothing sexier than my man laying on the floor, happily throwing giggly girls in the air even after a long day of work. 

10.  Sometimes you catch a glimpse of them turning just so or with the light just right and it's more beautiful than a sunset. Seriously cheesy. Seriously true. And then you think, "Dang, does she really look like me like everyone says?" And then you feel really good about yourself and you give your kid a lollipop. 

I'm just kidding, I never did that. 

11. They laugh and smile more freely and contagiously than anyone else. 

12. They give you grace for others. What's important is that parents are just parents who love their kids and make what they think are the best decisions. We're all just trying to do our best and that looks differently for everyone. 

13. They grant you entrance into an elite, super cool parent club, where sometimes we just complain, sometimes we brag, sometimes we feel more "grown up" than people who don't have kids and sometimes we just understand each other. 

14. Tax break! 

15. They open up a whole new world for scrapbooking, decorating, sewing and crafting and give it a new meaning: heirlooms, bonding, or making someone feel loved.

16. They teach you to be non-discriminatory. If any person close to their age or height is within a twenty foot radius, they are automatically friends. Best friends. 

17. They think you know everything and that you're really important. And that's kinda nice to have around. 

18. They will make a reason for a stack of books to be read. All sorts of books on sleep training, breast feeding, playing and learning, developmental stages, strong wills, shepherding their hearts, not to mention email subscriptions to parenting devotionals and developmental factoids and silly little blog posts like this. I heart reading. 

19. They make sneaking little touches and kisses and bow-chicka-bow-wow looks with your spouse pretty fun.

20. They help you understand God and the relationship He wants with us: a nursing baby craves it's parent; a child trusts completely; a caring parent disciplines and guides without loosing their cool. 

21. They give you an excuse to go down the slide, dance in the car, or splash in the parking lot puddles without looking totally idiotic.... Never mind. You'll still look stupid. But it's fun. 

22. They give you real empathy for nearly every news story. 

23. They magically make grumpy cashiers and waitstaff as pleasant as they can be. 

24. They make Christmas and birthdays and Easter baskets and gift shops WAY more fun. It really is better to give than to receive. 

25.  They need you to love them. It's why you love a newborn when they can do absolutely nothing, not even smile at you, in return. Sometimes I think this may be the biggest reason why God loves me. Because I just need him. And oh, how He loves us. 

Which one of these reasons is your favorite? Which reason did I forget to add to the list? 

Addison's Senior Pictures

I haven't blogged about a session in a while because...well, because I'm lazy and I haven't wanted to try to think. 

During this session, however, I saw something beautiful that did made me think. 

I saw a step-dad investing in his family and specifically in his stepson. 

I've known Addison's mom for a while, but I don't really know the ins and out of their family dynamic. But something was clear that day: this family has some love. 

(This one is my favorite!)

If you don't know already, men don't particularly care for my profession. Most of the time, when I have to photograph a man, I add "I'll be torturing you today" to my introduction and the biggest response to that is: "Yeah...I hate taking pictures." All those sweet men join in the family pictures, smile even though they feel silly and wear the uncomfortable clothes their wives picked out for them. 

Even though Paul was only in one picture and wasnt being "tortured," he didn't complain at all about being there (at least, not to me!) It impressed me that he even came to the session when he didn't have to.

On top of that, he happily followed us around, listened and made conversation, and even participated in setting up a few shots by kicking around the soccer ball. He may have been doing all this for his wife, like most of the men I photograph, (its the old "if mama aint happy, aint nobody happy" principle at work), but he was also doing it for his boy. And I could tell. I'm smart like that. 

All this to say that he made me think: about the impact we have on people, and about how investing in our families and small, simple acts of loving support can make a difference. 

Kudos, Paul. 

And congratulations, Addison! Be thankful for this influence in your life! 

The things I'm learning:

The things I'm learning: 

My home has been an idol. I've dressed it up and thought more about matching and accenting and decorating and cleaning it than I have paid attention to my true god and given priority to my family. 

I love things that cannot love me back. 

All of these things I love will fade, crack, fall apart, wear out and break eventually. Most of them are already showing the signs of aging. They are earthly. I must set my mind on things above. 

I can't take anything with me when I die. I cannot build up store houses here. I must invest in His kingdom. 

Jesus told the rich young ruler to sell everything he had and to give the money to the poor. He didn't tell everyone that. He probably only told me because I'm greedy and rotten and it was the only way to fix it. 

I think I may not make a difference and I may not be able to give much in comparison to others, but I can do something rather than nothing. It will make a difference when I get to heaven. It make a difference to someone. 

I am the hands and feet of Christ. I am acting on his behalf. He cares about the people I know about and ignore. He hears the cries of his children even when I/His hands are not obedient to help or serve or give. 

I have much, and I must share it. "Anyone who has two shirts should share with someone who has none." I have over 50 shirts. 

Hairbows on little girls don't really matter.

Fine clothes and jewelry don't make a woman beautiful. 

I won't miss things as much as I think I will. I will forget them. Trends will come and go and my tastes will change. 

Sometimes I am over emotional. Unfortunately, I often make decisions based on emotion. God can use that. 

I imagine that I have needs that are not needs at all. 

I have everything I will ever need to survive and thrive in my life. 

I have been numbed to my luxury and didn't even know how grossly and  opulently I live. 

It is hard for a rich man to go to heaven. 

It's easy to justify any greed or selfishness. 

I actually like having less options. It's cleansing and freeing and less stressful. My house feels bigger with less stuff in it. 

I'm not ready to let go of my curtains. 

I might be crazy to sell everything. But then again, it's probably crazy to love curtains so much. 

I am definitely crazy. 

I can do SOMEthing.

I can't sleep again. This time it's a different book: "It's not ok with me." I'm only 4 chapters in and I've been crying my eyes out, thinking about some kids a zillion miles away who have no idea I'm thinking about them. They don't know that anyone cares about them. They're sleeping in their own filth. 

My daughter peed in her bed and boy, was she upset. I cleaned her up immediately changed her clothes,  selecting from several dozen. Now I can't help but think of those who don't even have a hole, much less plumbing or water. And for those who have clothes, have probably never been changed and certainly not properly cleaned. Their parents aren't there to clean them up or listen to them or protect them because they've died from a %100 preventable disease. This is real. It's not a story. It's not just a few people. There's thousands. Tens and hundreds of thousands. 

Meanwhile, I have three pillows to sleep on. 

I feel nauseous. I can't look at these pillows. 

I'm nauseated by their situation and my lack of concern. I'm nauseated by my own opulence. 

Why do I have all this when they have nothing? 

I'm going to sell everything I have. It may not get me "much," but with the money I'm going to sponsor as many kids as I can. I'll keep what I need to function in this society. A few clothes, a little make up and soap, and the things I use everyday. I'll keep ONE pillow. And I'm not trying to start a fight with my husband, so I'll keep our bed frame, lol. I have curtains that hang on the wall for no other purpose than to look pretty. They can repurpose themselves to feed a hungry belly. I have hair straighteners and clothes and jewelry and throw pillows that my husband hates anyway and books and movies and decorative vases and apothecaries and wrapping paper and candles and craft supplies and lord knows I have shoes. This stuff just sits here, filling up drawers and closets and taking up space. I hardly use it. I don't care about it. What I DO care about is that a baby is on the street, covering up with scraps of garbage to stay warm. Even if its not forever that I can take care of them and even if its from a distance, even if its only a handful of kids I can help, I can do something. 

This has been a long time coming. Tonight jake laughed that it reminded him of me two years ago when I wanted to do this and didn't. How many hungry, cold nights went by that didn't have to? What have I been doing in the meantime? Why do I have so much and they have so little? How can I allow this to happen and at the same time, spring out of bed when my baby cries? These kids are just like mine and I know I would even sell myself to feed my babies.

I don't love my neighbor as myself. 

This has been a long time coming and I can't wait to see their pictures. I want to hang them on my fridge and look at them and love them everyday. Even if its a million miles away, someone has to love them. I can't wait. I can do something. 

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it. And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul? (Matthew 16:24-26 NLT)

Is any of my stuff worth more than a life? 

Coffee is keeping me up at night.

These thoughts are keeping me awake. 

I spent a summer doing humanitarian work in Peru. I scrimped and saved and even accepted donations. But was I more useful while I was there than the thousands I spent getting there could have been in the hands of those who were already there? Oh, but I built relationships. That makes an eternal difference. Those who are working already in Huancayo have already built relationships, lasting ones. They know the needs of the children and families there and quite frankly, everything in South America is much cheaper there than I could buy it here (not to mention shipping costs). I have known this since I left. Why am I not scrimping and saving now to send money to them? Or to anyone? My "mission" is over. I've "served" and now it's only something I talk about to make people think I'm altruistic or supernaturally caring and loving. "I went all the way to Peru to love on people. Look at me." 

I remember watching an episode of "Lifestlyes of the Rich and Famous" and seeing that J-lo spends 40k per year on her face cream. I can still see the swirling purple tubs with dollar sign graphics dancing around them. I remember feeling disgusted with her and thinking, "If she would just have some compassion and be slightly inconvenienced by doing without her face cream, she could send me to college and change my life." 

The blood of African children is saying the same thing to me. If I could be ever so slightly inconvenienced by not drinking a cup of coffee (or sometimes two) every morning, I could send $15 a month to world vision or compassion international keep someone alive.

 ALIVE.

 I could make the difference between life and death. This isn't about adding $15 to my bottom line of expenses and then continuing to enjoy my usual luxuries until I forget about those in need. I need to sacrifice a little for this. I need to remember that it's not about me. I need to have compassion as I go through my usual morning routine or through my day. 

Ha! Doing without a cup of coffee is sacrifice?? I am so spoiled. After three days without it, I will probably not even notice it much. Not to mention the fact that it is hardly necessary to my diet. That can barely be called a sacrifice, but I will start there.

So that's where I'm at when it comes to physical poverty. But there is another real and present danger among us: spiritual poverty. Though "undeveloped" (what a terribly inaccurate word to use) nations have real physical poverties, are they spiritually poor? Yes, probably. More than the US? More than where I am?  

No doubt I live in one of the (if not, the single most) spiritual depraved nations in the world (if not, the history of the world). What am I doing here? 

I want to go where coffee doesn't matter and neither do appearances or iPhones or chlorine free diapers. It would be easier there. 

Bloom where you are planted. 

Each of you should continue to live in whatever situation the Lord has placed you, and remain as you were when God first called you. This is my rule for all the churches. (1 Corinthians 7:17 NLT)

How convenient to me as a Christian that I'm planted in a field ready for working! How can I not take advantage of this opportunity!? 

I'm thinking of the great commission. When Jesus said to "go into all the earth," he was physically in Jerusalem. My American hometown, my backyard, is part of this vast expanse of "all the earth." Was Jesus giving me a command to travel or telling me to bloom?

Though the African blood of many is crying out to me, a broken heart across the street is calling too. A young girl who keeps calling me her mentor (the poor thing) is calling too. A mother who needs grace is calling me. A husband who needs encouragement and a daughter who needs my patience when answering her unanswerable questions like "Why?" and "Did god make cows or stop signs first?" is calling for my action. Another daughter who needs me lay on the floor and forget about my to-do list is calling me. A girl in my newsfeed who needs acceptance is crying out. A woman who made a mistake many years ago and is calling my office to find healing is in my American life for a reason. 

These spiritual needs are pressing, and to quote a sermon I recently heard, "Jesus always cared more about the spiritual than the physical." 

I don't want to find the almost expired items in my pantry and call it helping the food bank. I don't want to haul off the rumpled, unlaundered mess of clothes in the back of my closet and fool myself into thinking I'm meeting some fat American's needs. America's needs are mainly spiritual, not physical. 

In this season, I will sacrifice my wants and luxuries, starting with my daily brew. I will be a good steward of what is given to me. I will send my physical money to where it is needed, to the other "ends of the earth:" to those who need my money more than my silly, god-complex, American personality. And I will spiritually serve here, in this rich American soil where I was planted. I don't have to go all the way to Peru to love on people.  I will make a difference in the lives of the people put in my life by the God of the universe. I will connect with them on their level and meet their needs with my silly American personality. I will invite the heart across the street over for a cup of ...well,  coffee probably.  

But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you. And you will be 

my witnesses, telling people about me everywhere—in Jerusalem, throughout Judea, in Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” (Acts 1:8 NLT)

In Jerusalem, their backyard, first. 

A cup of coffee first. 

Oh Jesus, be first and foremost in my life!

 

A Glimpse of Heaven/Evangeline Chesney Newborn Portraits

 

 

 

Hmmm.... I don't really have anything poignant to say, except that this sweet family reminded me of when Jake and I became a family of three. I guess I've been thinking about that time a little more since I'm pregnant again, and I've been really looking forward to those late night feedings when the house is so quiet and it's just me and a little itty bitty baby, sleepily falling more in love with my husband as I watch him stare in wonder at such a new little thing, and discovering how Audrey will interact with the new baby. I can't wait to see them love on each other!

I thought it might be a little selfish to start thinking about my own family as I'm writing a post about someone else's family, but I think it's a wonderful thing that parents can all relate in this way. It's a time filled with emotions that sticks in every parent's mind. I love that we as humans have common experiences and emotions that bring us together: I mean, once you discover that someone else is a parent too, you have a new way of understanding each other and you know that other person has a new way of understanding life in general. It's almost like being in a special club. I think that in heaven we'll all know the commonalities that we share and we'll all be bonded in a special way.

Seeing new parents is a little glimpse of heaven.

 

Congratulations John Mark and Faith! Welcome to the club! :)



love the sun flare!

 

Welcome to the world, beautiful Evangeline!

 

Silly bubble blowing girl! What a personality already!

The Butlers and Life Groups

This little cutie is always so much fun to photograph. And she just turned two!

So dainty!

 

What a great little supermodel pose!

 This family goes to my church too and we spent a little time talking about something our church calls "life groups." We get together, share a meal and have a little Sunday school bible study time. They put emphasis on the "life" part, and we all make an effort to "do life together" sit sounds cheesy when I explain it, but it's actually pretty neat. I have a few really great friends that have been there over the years, plenty of good friends that I'm enjoying getting to know better and some acquaintances sprinkled in here and there, but the people I've been in life group with seem to fit in a different category. When you sit around and talk about the things God's teaching you, bringing you through and dealing with you about, there's a deeper connection and bond that forms. We dont' have to talk about our common interests or be updated on each and every detail in each other's lives to be connected. I think that's what the bible is talking about when it says "By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:35 emphasis added.) I love my life group and my church family!

Happy 20th anniversary you two!