Working at Home

Here's an example of how it's hard to have a "work at home" job.
You plan on having some "work time" during your child's nap time. This usually means that instead of taking the wonderful "rest when your baby sleeps" advice, you're running/making a mad dash to the computer to make as much of your time as possible. But that's okay. You're used to it. At least you'll have some quiet to work with. And oh, how you look forward to sweet, beautiful, still silence.

But your tired little angel falls asleep in the car on the way home from a morning of playing hard at the park despite all your efforts, including but not limited to singing "B-I-N-G-O!" at the top of your lungs and rolling the car windows up and down repeatedly. She naps for approximately twenty minutes, and the whole time you're saying to yourself "It'll be okay. She'll transfer to from the car seat to the crib with no problem.... Yeah, she's sacked out. She won't even know when I pick her up."

But you know it's all a lie.

You contemplate leaving her in the car seat in the garage to finish her nap until you remember that creepy story your best friend told you about the windowless van stalking around her neighborhood.
So you bravely start the transition. You do everything slowly, gently and purposefully. Pull the Velcro straps from her shoes s  l l l l o o o o o w w w w l l l l y y y.... put her snuggle-y blanket in just the right place over your shoulder, leave the car doors and garage door and back door all open for now (no need for any extra noises that you can avoid), you use your crazy awesome mom skills to carefully slip her tiny little jacket off her arms, and then it's time for the big moment: the lift and drop that occurs when you ever so carefully put her in her crib. You hold your breath. You tiptoe out of the room. You gently shut the door and are ready for a celebration of success.

And then you turn and see it: the very last thing you want to see at that moment: her big blue eyes.

Oh, the paradox: they're so sweet and beautiful, but the sight of them breaks your heart.

"She'll go back to sleep," you lie again to yourself.  She plays for twenty minutes in her crib, saying every word in her miniature vocabulary jovially, swooshing her canopy here and there, and giggling as she kicks the side of her bed.

Finally, you realize that your dreams of silence and work must wait, mommy guilt rears it's ugly head and you feel terrible that she's in there all alone just because you were expecting quiet time. So you go to retrieve her.

Then she's super cranky for the rest of the afternoon, but that little bit of shut eye was enough to keep her awake well past her usual nap time. And you know that when she takes a late nap, that means a late bedtime, and even though a later wake time would follow logically, you know deep down that it won't happen. In fact, she'll probably wake up even earlier. Every little whine is a reminder of the whole situation, and there's a lot of them.

Sigh. Oh, silence. How I long for you!

Any other moms been there?

I love photography

Feeling pretty technically unsavvy right now. I'm new to this bogging world, and learning as I go! I've thought about starting one of these up for a while now, but (even though I talk a lot, just ask my husband!) I think I might not have too much to say...
Hopefully, that will change as I get settled in here. So, since I have no idea what I'm doing, anyone got any pointers for me??

Well anyway, here's a little bit about me:
My name is Sabrina Stanford. I worship an awesome and powerful God. I have a beautiful family that I'm very proud to be a part of. I love my job and hope to share some of that love on here. I love to learn and hope to also share some of my trails and errors and learning experiences as well.

I studied art in college and have been addicted to it ever since high school when I had the best art teacher ever. I wonder if she knows the effect her teaching has had on my life. Photography is the perfect outlet for my addiction since it's a comparatively quickly satisfying media and is actually marketable. I've tried to sell everything from paintings to ribbon belts (don't ask), but nothing I've tried so far has as much market value as the blessed media of photography.

In art school, they make you read a book called "The Art Spirit," which is a wonderful read, but in which the famed art educator Robert Henri says “I am interested in art as a means of living a life; not as a means of making a living.” But that was written before photography was around and people wanted family portraits done at Olan Mills every year. Photography as an art form, is a little more market friendly than costly and time consuming oil paintings. So, against the advice of Robert Henri, I'm giving it a try and so far, it's been SO exciting and fulfilling and absolutely wonderful for me. "Henri is right. Making art is a tough way to make a living, I can already tell how much other (non-artsy) work is involved, blogging for example.. also, SEO and advertisement and website upkeep and print ordering and customer service and computer maintenance... the list goes on. But, Henri also said that “Art is, after all, only a trace – like a footprint which shows that one has walked bravely and in great happiness.” So far, with my little business, I've been trying to be very brave and I've certainly had some great happiness. This is a picture that seems like a "trace" to me. It just makes me happy, too. This reminds me of those little moments in life where beauty just seems to bubbling up and overflowing everywhere and all I can do is sigh and think "ah, this is life." Does anyone else have those??

This is another BIG reason why I love what I do: My sweet, 22 month old baby girl. Being a family photographer means that I can stay home with her during the week and can leave her at home with her wonderful dad for a couple of hours on the weekends to do photography sessions and I can get the rest of my work done during her naps times or those rare and wonderful times when she's playing by herself without getting stuck under a chair or testing out what a mascara brush feels like on various parts of her body. It's extremely difficult to try to balance running a business (small though it may be) and juggling the home/wife/mother responsibilities. When I need to work, it's tough to focus if I know there's a sink full of dishes in the kitchen or when the mommy guilt is full force because we haven't done a weekly craft yet and it's already Wednesday (gasp!) And when I want to stack blocks and listen to Audrey's version of "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star," it's hard not to think about the people who are waiting to see how their photographs turned out. But, enough complaining... it's truly rewarding to see this little spiky haired thing smile at me, trust me, snuggle with me, and let me nibble on her little toes everyday. We have a lot of fun together. And come on, I know I might have mommy goggles, but how can you resist those beautiful eyes?? I love the textures in this picture too...

One last reason why I love what I do: the people! My clients blow me away. I believe that every person we come into contact with is in our lives by Divine appointment. God sets up the meetings! He matches the personalities and life experiences so we can learn from or encourage each other. When I grasped this wonderful concept, I realized that for every person I meet, there is either something I can give or something I can learn from. I strive to never let an appointment be in vain. Aside from that, I love that I get to share in the exciting things in people's lives. These engagement pictures were a birthday present for the bride to be from her fiance. Double celebration! I'm kind of a dork when it comes to celebrating, for example, color coordinating my wardrobe with minor holidays. I'll never forget the sarcastic tone in my best friend's voice as she commented on the fact that I was all decked out in green for St. Patrick's Day. "You should be an elementary school teacher." Anyway, the little landmarks in our lives are special and intimate, and I feel privileged to be part of memorializing those precious things in people's lives. Photography offers a unique way to get to know people and to appreciate who they are, and I've certainly enjoyed getting to know my clients thus far.

So, that's it. A little bit of why I love my job. There's lots more, but maybe I should take this blogging thing step by step! I know photographers are a dime a dozen nowadays, but I'm living, loving and learning so we'll just have to see what happens against the odds.

And I thought I wouldn't have anything to say....

check out my website: stanfordphotography.photoshelter.com